Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
