Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
