idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
