Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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