All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize