It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I will be naked everywhere
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize