i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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