I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
