it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize