How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
