Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
My vagina is very pro this idea
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
