I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
