So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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