Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
