Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
That accounts for only three of the penises
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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