I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
