CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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