People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize