i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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