you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
