Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
