so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize