dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
