Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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