Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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