Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
