You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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