so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
