Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
