"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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