You really coming over, don't trick.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
