My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
