I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize