I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
someone get that fucking seahorse.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
