btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
