dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The adults are the big ones right?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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