Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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