Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize