I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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