I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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