They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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