i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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