hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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