Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
