I think im going to throw up on grandma
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
