This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I love you. Go after that dick
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
