this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
