Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
