Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
