THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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