I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
no you cant smoke seaweed
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
