I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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