I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
