remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
