Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
