i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
