I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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