would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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