awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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