i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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