we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize