We're facebook friends in real life
accomplished twins. life is a go
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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